so apparently, i suck

08.29.05 - 12:55am
mood: A.O.K.
music playing: Chris Rock - Bigger & Blacker
'suck' is defined as:

1. To draw (liquid) into the mouth by movements of the tongue and lips that create suction.
2. To draw in by establishing a partial vacuum: a cleaning device that sucks up dirt.
3. To draw in by or as if by a current in a fluid.
4. To draw or pull as if by suction: teenagers who are sucked into a life of crime.
5. To draw nourishment through or from: suck a baby bottle.
6. To hold, moisten, or maneuver (a sweet, for example) in the mouth.
7. Vulgar Slang. To perform fellatio on.

The congregation, or "roundtable" as we will call it, was accurate in their decision that I suck. I, of course have to draw (liquid) into the mouth by movements of the tongue and lips that create suction. This is done to ingest fluids that are vital for survival.

They are also accurate, that as a baby I was breastfed, much like most other babies then gradually worked to being bottle fed, so "To draw nourishment through or from: suck a baby bottle." would make sense.

I'm not one for candy, but I do enjoy a lollipop every now and then. To do that I have to hold, moisten, or maneuver (a sweet, for example) in my mouth.

In the vulgar sense, I am very much heterosexual, so this is an inaccurate observation.

I appear to agree with almost all of what the "roundtable" has concluded about myself. Should they ever meet again regarding myself, I would be delighted to know what other observations they could make.