super size my ass

12.31.04 - 10:43am
music playing: William Shatner - I Can't Get Behind That
This blog is weeks in the making. The whole idea/concept came to me after playing my second game of shinny hockey and the food I ate afterwards. Mix in my trip to The OC and you've got this blog.

The theory behind it; Questioning the idea that smaller portions of food are not enough to meet someone's hunger needs.

To begin...

After the first game of shinny (on Thurs) I created a ritual of going to Harvey's for a bacon cheeseburger, some onion rings and an orange pop. The second shinny game (on Fri) ended and I made my way to Harvey's once again. This time I ordered a double burger with cheese and bacon, some onion rings and an orange pop. I opened up the wrapping, looked at that double burger and thought to myself, "how the hell am I going to eat this thing?" The burger Itself was just too much food.

... and that got me thinking.

Maybe this weight crisis we (North America) seem to be in is because people's eyes aren't bigger than their stomachs. I forced that burger down, but was so full it wasn't even funny. Then I still had the rings and drink to polish off.

(This will sound like an infomercial)
At one point, I weighed as much as 230lbs. At that time, a double burger with cheese and bacon, some onion rings and an orange pop would have my order. The single burger just wouldn't be enough to fill me. Now I realize, I don't need to be full. All I need is to have the craving satisfied, which a single burger combo does.

That's not how I personally lost the weight. My weight loss was a combo of knee surgery (25lbs in 4 days) and malnourishment during my trip to Australia. I now hover around the 190 - 200lbs range.

...back to the point...

If people could adjust their perception of how much food they actually need, than the pounds would just fall off. Even without exercise, etc... if you are only eating the amount you need than you have to lose weight. It's just simple science.

After work one day, Grimm, FairyFly and I went to Frankie Tomatto's. The food was magnifico but I noticed that I ate waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. Buffet Italian food, I just couldn't resist, but I paid for it with an enlarged stomach and appetite that could never be satisfied. I could literally see myself gaining weight because I just needed to be full all the time. I could have just eaten enough to satisfy the craving, but in my head, "enough" wasn't enough. It took a conscious effort on my part to stop myself from eating. Stop eating all the time and at all hours of the day. Again... my perception was the root cause.

I have a little more sympathy for people in The OC, because the food portions down there are insane. As I mentioned in that previous blog. I'm taken to a place called Carl's Jr. Don't make the mistake I did and order combo 11. That was a 'Six Dollar Burger' with fries and a drink. The burger was fucking huge... but I had no idea what to order and the pressure of the drive-thru sometimes forces you to make dumb decisions. Browsing to their site just now, Carl's Jr. has a 'Breakfast Burger'. It looks good.. but that's just way too much to be eating at breakfast time and far too unhealthy.

My sympathy for Americans quickly runs out though, because if I can make the conscious effort to do something about my appetite and weight gain, than so can they. I still eat the cheap McDonalds meal, once (maybe twice) a week. My cholesterol might be taking a hit, but my weight sure isn't. I can still pass as a medium build if I were ever to be described on the news for a man hunt.

...getting to McDonalds and that stupid stupid stupid Super Size Me movie.
That movie was a complete pile of shit and anyone.... anyone who has changed their theory towards eating fast food after watching that movie is completely ignorant.

This guy went from a 95% Vegan diet (with the occasional steak), to a complete junk food, 3 times a day life style. No shit his body took a shock. Imagine throwing an Ethiopian in Alaska and see how their body might react to the change. It's essentially the same thing. His body chemistry reacted, as it should to foreign substances. Much like white blood cells do when they detect foreign toxins. The problem with his example is that it is pointless and it proves absolutely nothing. If you have adapted your body to eating fast-food once a week, you aren't going to suddenly get liver damage or whatever bullshit was happening to the guy. Sure, "you should never eat fast-food" but in moderation isn't going to kill you. He deserves all the liver damage and weight gain for trying such stupidity.

Also... you'll never be able to prove to me that someone eats fast-food three times a day and here is why... they eat it because they are lazy. A lazy person will not make the effort to get their ass off the couch or away from their computer chair to get some McDonalds for the third time that day.

"Why did I just waste my time reading this blog?"

We learn that it's your mind telling you that the single burger won't do... or that you have to eat when you're bored... or you have to eat to be happy, not your stomach. If your stomach were making the decisions, it would say "put your wallet away, get me a small bowl of raisin bran and lets go out and play with the kids, or take a long walk with the wife".

If you can notice that you are over weight or gaining weight, consciously make the effort to override the impulses from your brain telling you to eat more than you need to. Add to that, a walk around the block every night and you're well on your way to a learner, meaner self-confident person who is no longer part of the weight crisis but a leader in the charge of saying "I need not be over weight any longer!"

finally back to regular workouts

12.31.04 - 01:09am
mood: Anxious
 
As long as the opportunity is available, I vow to get back into the men's Hockey League at York by Mid-January or early February.

Playing these first shinny games has been murder on my back because all the pressure is on my lower back. My chest/abdominal muscles have all but disappeared with these freakin' shoulder and wrist problems. Now that I can actually lift weights again without pain, I'm working my ass off to get back.

This time... I'm gonna be leaner, meaner and stronger than the last time I played (2.5 years ago). I'll still need the wrist guard for quite some time, but I've taken hits and let myself slam into the boards and each time got up without pain.

I just need to get the skating and eye-hand coordination back to normal and then I'm ready to go!!

Good god I can't wait!
fuck that...

Apple 40GB iPod Photo

12.23.04 - 01:43am
 
What do you do with a 40GB iPod Photo that you don't need, nor will ever likely use?

Ignore the "Dock Not Included" as mine came with dock included.
what's up with that?

some douchebag is using my handle

12.18.04 - 07:21pm
mood: Angry
music playing: RHCP - Subway To Venus
Searching google for "bashtard"... for shits and giggles ... I find that some douchebag is using my "bashtard" handle that I've been using for 11 years.

To make it worse... said douchebag joined this stupid forum "19 Nov 2002".

The 2002 doesn't bother me so much, but to join with MY handle on MY birthday... that's just no respect at all.


addendum

I realized that I have previously bitched about this guy and his bashtard.net
It goes like this:

The flight:
Slept through most of it cuz I got all 3 seats to myself
Flying over California... WOW... it would deserve pics!!
(if I'd ever take any)

The airport:
meh... Pearson is much nicer

The hotel room:
WOW... it's awesome
just need a few drunk girls jumping on my king-size
...and king-size bed ;)

The food:
No wonder there was a movie called 'Super Size Me'
The portions here are insane. I (not knowing the menu) ordered a combo 11. That being a burger that is thicker yet the same horizontal sized piece of beef like at Wimpy's. Then the fries were in huge portion and the drink.... good god... the might as well feed it into your veins.

...and THIS WAS NOT McDonalds I'm speaking of

The radio commercials:
I thought they were joking. I not for a second believed that this was a real commercial. Maybe one of those 97.7FM bullshit ones.... but it was serious. It blew my mind.

Rought Transcript:
"OMG... you mean a boob job AND a tummy tuck for ONLY $5500"

The guy driving saw how shocked I was, cuz as I explained, you would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER hear anything like that one our radios. He was like, "that's normal around here."

The driving:
Apparently to make a right turn you have to speed up and go about 40mph while doing so. I can't believe their tires last more than 1 season with the fast start and stops.

....and this was day 1

L.A. here I come

12.11.04 - 01:22pm
mood: Comical
music playing: Christina Aguilera - Soar
It's confirmed, I leave Tuesday @ 9:30am and fly back home Friday @ (currently unknown time)

My real issue is this... Who is going to fly to Florida or maybe New York to have that IBM Business on Demand conversation with me?

You know the one, "change of plans... see you back in Toronto. change of plans..."

my skates were sabotaged

12.09.04 - 02:21pm
mood: Cheerful
 
Today I went on the ice for the first time in over 2 years and my veins were spewing out rust. Couldn't keep my balance, couldn't start and/or stop properly. Pure ass basically.

I partially blame the skates. My skates had absolutely no control on the ice. The even seemed to have a pivot point on the blade. I was either too much on my heels or too much on my toes. I'd try to stop and the edge on my right skate would catch, but the one on my left wouldn't, causing my left leg to 'slip'... which would almost certainly tear my groin to shreds. I've already had a pulled groin playing hockey and good god, those suckers take AT LEAST 6 months to heal properly.

They were sharpened months back but never used (due to the surgeries)... and sharpened by one of those "lemme do these by hand cuz I know everything" kinda fuck heads. So after looking like I had just put on my first pair of skates ever, and retying them 30 times, I finally left the rink and had them sharpened somewhere else by an automatic machine. Man... the edges are awesome now.

Tomorrow... since the skates won't be the issue, I just have to work on my ankles and knees remembering they have to remain solid and work in unison to create that smooth skating motion I used to have many moons ago.

Live Journal Spam?

12.09.04 - 10:31am
mood: Confused
 
When I checked my mail this morning I had what seems to be a legit Live Journal account request pending my approval.

I don't need LJ as this call it.
I already gotz the best blog this side of the Mississippi!!!

Is this legit... or are one of you punks pulling a fast one on this bashtard?
----- Original Message -----
From: "LiveJournal.com"
To:
Sent: Thursday, December 09, 2004 5:10 AM
Subject: Welcome to LiveJournal


Congratulations, you have a new LiveJournal.com account!

To complete your journal creation and verify your email address,
please visit the following location. Verifying your email address
will help to protect your account as well as allow you to utilize
more features within your journal.

http://www.livejournal.com/confirm/8555778.y32n92z8yswwxw

You may access your journal at the following two URLs:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/bashtard/
http://www.livejournal.com/~bashtard/

Below is your LiveJournal.com username that you registered:

Username: bashtard

If you need to retrieve your password, you can do so at any time by
visiting the following URL:

http://www.livejournal.com/lostinfo.bml

Enjoy!

LiveJournal.com Team
http://www.livejournal.com/

'97 Protege with plates and sticker...

12.09.04 - 10:22am
mood: Calm
 
make Spiky get the puss puss
Aaah, pussy control, oh
Aaah, pussy control, oh

Well east coast girls are hip...

12.07.04 - 01:44am
mood: Excited
music playing: David Lee Roth - California Girls

Well I'm packin up my game and I'm a head out west
Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts

And set up shop at the top of four seasons,
Kid Rock and I'm the real mccoy,
And I'm headin out west sucker...because I wanna be a Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin... Cowboy baby
West coast chillin with the Boone's Wine

The West coast has the sunshine
And the girls all get so tanned
I dig a french bikini on Hawaii island
Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

I wish they all could be California
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be California
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be California
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be California
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)

you can't bring this one home to mother

12.02.04 - 01:50am
mood: Happy
music playing: Christmas tunes from Age of Mythology
Earlier I had mistakenly made the comment that "i feel like a million buckazoids".... but after the events of tonight, I'd have to say I feel like "100 BILLION Buckazoids".

I continually mention this whiskey waitress... to the point of your exhaustion (not mine, trust me).

Having seen her looking her absolute best
(as I told her) "fucking incredible" tonight.
Also at her absolute worst
She looked nothing like the waitress version of herself, however slick Jcloth was able to slip in a "you look different, but still just as beautiful as always".
Tonight though... it was as if we were playing poker and she upped the anti ten fold. YOWZA!!



Now to the actual events of the night....

Shortly after Grimm and I arrived, she came right over, sat on my lap.... and even graced my forehead (that will never be washed again) with a kiss.

You have to understand the background of our relationship. "Our" meaning Grimm, myself and the waitress. Essentially, there hasn't been one for the two yea... errr... few times we've seen her. :P Grimm and I are on the 'don't expect a tip from those cheap bastards' blacklist. So all this new found attention is very pleasing yet extremely shocking at the same time.

We just so happen to notice that she wasn't wearing a bra, and it conveniently being Wet T-Shirt Wednesday, we put 2 and 2 together. Plus she just told us anyway, so the mathematics were needless.

Lemme tell ya... she stole the show. She was a mean ass bitch on stage, even taking the bottles and squirting the squirters. Man that was hot!!

Contest done, she's still in her Wet T-Shirt and I ask how someone can go about getting a drink. To which she replies, "you want my shirt?" It was very loud so I could excuse the confusing response.... and seriously, who was I to decline such a sexy offer? So of course I accepted the Wet T-Shirt. Then later, much like the free t-shirt she tosses it my way and I am again the king of the world.

Waitress' Wet T-Shirt


Now I know I'm being somewhat of a hypocrite. As I have previously stated that digicams were sent here by the devil but this post just wouldn't be the same without that pic.

...but we're still not finished... that's the great part

Later she again comes to sit on my lap, lean back, let me put my arms around her and even make the pathetic attempt to flirt.
Question, "why don't you and your friends meet up with me and my friends for a movie some time?"
Her reply: (like a sexy bitch) " are you trying to flirt, cuz if you are you're not doing a good job".
Zingged and turned on.... MEOW

Finally it's home time and she is blocking the way out. I give her a "later dude" which she mocks (so sexy). I tell her one more thing, "I'm far too dense when it comes to women to know how to flirt". and she gives me the old "well I could have told you that".

...but the best part.... the part that makes the night all worth this writing...

After our chitty chat banter, she leans over to me wanting a kiss on the cheek.
Now c'mon, after making the effort to post a blog this damn long, you know I at least got a bit of skin from her. It was the only that kiss on the cheek, but that's all I need right now to be a happy man.