Bashtard's weblog

If I wanted to watch a coming of age love story between two males, I would have just watched Lord of the Rings for a second time. You know what I'm talking about... Gandalf and Pippen. Don't play dumb with me!!

....back to Alexander

My main question is 'Why?'
Why does Hollywood feel the need to keep shitting out these stupid ass historically inaccurate movies that are all basically the same. Gladiator already covered the massive fight scenes with all the blood shed, etc... but Hollywood keeps pumping them out. Since then we've had (though based on fiction) Lord of the BO-Rings, Troy and now this pile o' crap Alexander.

What set Alexander apart from the others was the Spanish, British and Irish influence... because apparently Greek/Macedonian people speak not a word of their own native tongue but rather a vast conglomeration of all the others. Angelina's was by far the worst. To the point that I had to cover my ears cuz the British/Spanish chica accent was just driving me fucking insane.

The positives of the movie going experience?? Well I received a huge smack in the back of the head by a ladies purse... who happened to be the lovely Whiskey waitress. After one more big hug and some quality banter outside the theatre, I was able to consider this a night not completely lost to yet another over priced Hollywood flop.

She looked nothing like the waitress version of herself, however slick Jcloth was able to slip in a "you look different, but still just as beautiful as always".

That's gotta get me the pussy eventually ;)

what's up with that?

[addendum]

I finally got it to work!!
what's up with that?

what's up with that?

My loyal readers will remember my theories and issues with Reality TV. For those of you without the background, I suggest reading an old post of mine.

CBC Sunday Nite News covered a story regarding yet another no talent fucking reality tv show by these brilliant Hollywood producers.
This one is based on the success of the website www.ashleymadison.com.

I say brilliant because they are able to make show after show of complete shit, yet have millions upon millions of retarded tax payers religiously tune in to watch.

The basis of this one is to tap into the 'real life' infidelity that exists between couples. Essentially, monogamy is no more. Cameras will follow around these dumbasses that cheat on their spouses and these dumbasses will somehow attempt to cover it up and keep the spouse unaware. But.... THEY ARE ON TV!!! How they plan on getting around that one is something they'll have to figure out I guess... but c'mon... they can't be serious about this one.

They interviewed some bachelors (bachelors for a reason I might add) and they were all for women cheating on their husbands. These guys were such losers that if women were to sleep with them, they'd have to be fucking retarded. Computer geeks wooing women with their knowledge of Linux. Other people in relationships stating that people aren't meant to be monogamous... saying this right in front of their significant others who don't even flinch.

This shit amazes me. How disugsting of a society are we going to become? Myself being the child of baby-boomers, maybe I'm that one generation older than the majority of these idiots who give into these theories of monogamy being a farse. Maybe not... who knows?

I'm total old school and I 100% believe in monogamy. I believe that it's the fucking laziness of this current batch of human beings who think cheating is an easier way of dealing with urges, rather than talking to or selecting the right person to be with.

Fear of being alone and jumping to relationships when you shouldn't is what spawns this disgusting way of thinking.

To by honest, I have no idea what I was thinking with that Montana's waitress. I saw her again and... the only way I can describe it is, "was I drunk at the time?"

I much prefer to put my efforts towards not getting laid by that Whiskey waitress instead.

Who got a free Whiskey T-Shirt from the smoking hot waitress at Whiskey tonight??
That's right... --THIS GUY--

God damn, she looked (as I told her) "fucking incredible" tonight.

Then I made the move on "what can I get cuz its my bday on Friday?". She told me a t-shirt but hours had gone by and still nothing. Then she just tosses me one as I'm getting the itch to leave.

One hug later I was on my way home to write this blog and brag!!

what's up with that?

Montana's has a fairly inexpensive lunch menu all served within 15 minutes or free (just try and get them for free). So Grimm and I have been infrequently frequenting for their delicious Apple Butter rib tips. mmmmmmmmmmm... Apple Butter.

Today I recognize one of the waitresses. It takes a few minutes but I can finally place her. She was the really cute waitress that Ramrob and I had flirted with and of course.. forgot to get the phone number. I knew I had blogged about that incident so I went searching and found it had been 13 months since I saw her last. Admittedly, a few moments of every subsequent visit was spent looking for her, but she was never to be found. Until today....

I saw her across the room at first then she finally walked towards me and had the biggest smile on her face. I turn to Grimm and said, "now I'm dense but that smile MUST have meant something".

She reappears and walks my way once again, but this time I stop her and tell her that I recognize her and ask if she was the one with the hat all that time ago. She says yes and admits to remembering me as well.

For the rest of the time we were there she was busy working on the other side of the room, so I stop our waitress and ask the name of the other. She tells me, "her name is ___. Why do you ask?" I spill the beans and tell her that I remembered her from way back and that she was the one I thought was "looking really cute in the hat". She left right after and ran to the back to regurgitate my already spilled beans.

We're finished our meals... after much talk of ATM... and I go to pay with debit. Our waitress asks if there's anything I might want to leave for ___.

...we remember from previous blogs how dense I am so this comes as no shock...

I tell her I have nothing, but I turn that negative into a positive and tell her that she can do me a favour and get me ____'s phone number. Even better (which in retrospect, isn't better) what days does she work so I might drop by again. I find out she doesn't work next Friday and I act all disappointed because next Friday is my birthday (shameless self promotion) and I had plans on going there for lunch. Our waitress reassures me that ____ will be there for sure and asks me to make sure I show up as well.

So like... how does a shit day turn around that fast into a great one?

First I see my blonde goddess smoking, which was such a turn off, only to be followed up by seeing the waitress cutie that I hadn't seen for 13 months and all'z good again.

Now I think I'm just rambling... so I'll close with "damn I hope she's there next Friday"

what's up with that?

what's up with that?

what's up with that?

what's up with that?

The upcoming HBO Boxing schedule is jam packed with hard hitting, big talking, quality fighters.

The matches are as follows:

John Ruiz VS. Andrew Golota
John Ruiz - Lost his title a few years ago to the now has-been Roy Jones Jr.
Andrew Golota - The low blow king of the boxing ring.

Chris Byrd VS. Jameel McCline
Chris Byrd - Should have been the next big champ after Lenox Lewis
Jameel McCline - never heard of him

Hasim Rahman VS. Kali Meehan
Hasim Rahman - 'Has-been Rahman' as Lenox Lewis called him after knocking him out
Kali Meehan - never heard of him

Evander Holyfield VS. Larry Dona
Evander Holyfield - Why... why are you still boxing?
Larry Dona - never heard of him

All are welcome to come over and watch the insane amount of heavyweight boxing. You know the rules though... not bringing hot strippers with you... don't bother coming :)

Typical comment from my father:

---

"I need someone to help me clean up around the house and to close the pool. See if the kids down the road want to make a few bucks"

a.k.a. Jcloth, I need you to help me cleanup shit and close the pool but you're obviously just coming off wrist surgery so I'll just give you a fucking guilt trip instead.

---

Earlier this year it was:

---

"I need someone to help me clean up around the house and to open the pool. See if the kids down the road want to make a few bucks"

a.k.a. Jcloth, I need you to help me cleanup shit and open the pool but you're obviously just coming off shoulder surgery so I'll just give you a fucking guilt trip instead.

---

My suggestion... "why not ask my brother in-law?"

To which I get an answer of, "he's not my son, why would I ask him?"

Oh I dunno... maybe because you do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING the fucking guy asks you, but you don't have the balls to ask him to help you close the fucking pool??

I think I'm just about ready to go all GTA on his ass if he keeps this shit up.

[addendum]

I gave my parents a ring-a-ding-ding after work and found out that my father was helping my brother in-law fix his wood flooring. Did he ask for help on the pool?? ... No chance in hell

I can understand his point... for my dad, it's so much easier NOT to help me than it is to make any fucking effort whatsoever to help me find a better job.

Helped both of my sisters find good jobs.. but for me, won't even ask anyone if they know someone.

I'm pretty sure I've bitche... err... blogged about this before but it's so infuriating that it needs a second helping.

How hard is it to just ask someone if they know anyone? Especially when the job you have forces you to interact with dozens of different people every single day. It's as if the thought of helping me is just foreign.

I say, "HELP ME FIND A JOB"
He says, "send in a resume to ____"
I say, "Help me by finding me a contact.. someone in the industry"
He says, "I made a suggestion didn't I?"

My god... like I couldn't fucking think of sending my resume to random companies. What a fucking helpful suggestion!!

In this house, Jcloth has to do all his shit by himself.
On the other hand, I have to help everyone out cuz I'm an asshole if I don't.

Mike Toth is already one of the funniest sports guys on TV. Tonight though, he took it to a new level.

A transsexual was allowed to join the LPGA tour as new rules were made to allow transsexuals to play. One rule remains.. they all have to use regulation balls

He's the best!!

I recall being at my desk and receiving a phone call from a co-worker in India. Then I remember having something written down on a piece of paper. I have absolutely no memory of the conversation, the act of writing down the message or hanging up the phone. Nor do I remember how long it was until I was able to relay what I had written down to someone else to figure out. Though, it seems that I was okay through the call because I had the notes I needed and the phone was hung up.

As weird as it sounds, I could feel myself forgetting until I just had (and still have) no memory of it other than knowing that it had happened.

I did my usual, 'walk around until I feel better' then went back to my desk and went on with my day.

It took me describing the events to my mother for me to think, 'ya know, maybe it was a small seizure'. My mother also enlightened me as to a '7 year cycle' that seizure sufferers seem to go through. Roughly after 7 years of having seizures (or 'auras') the seizures seem to subside until 7 years later when the seizures (or 'auras') return.

If that were to be true, that would mean this is the 7th year of the cycle for me and greener pastures may be ahead.

Either way.. me thinks its time for another blood test!!

It's been one day now that I stopped taking Celebrex and wouldn't ya know... the canker is already way smaller.

Celebrex my ass!!