Bashtard's weblog

Meatloaf said it best...

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Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here.
Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth.
There's the wind-up and there it is, a line shot up the middle, look at him go.
This boy can really fly!

He's rounding first and really turning it on now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center, and here comes the throw, and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!

No, wait, safe--safe at second base, this kid really makes things happen out there.

Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch; he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt-- safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base!

He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost daring him to try and pick him off.
The pitcher glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on! Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close, here's the throw, there's the play at the plate, holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!

Girl:
Stop right there!

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Grimm, Turkey and I are cruisin' the streets of our lovely T.O. last evening when we come across a Honda Civic with three wanna-be Ginos, a dragon decal on the side and fancy ass tail lights. Well, fancy ass until you take a closer inspection.

The brake lights on the Civic were covered with red duct tape. I pointed this out to Grimm and the Turkey but I couldn't let it rest there. I mean c'mon, its red duct tape on the back of a Civic. Those guys weren't gonna get any tail with shit like that, so I had to let them know.

I shout out the window, "nice duct tape" which gets a reaction. The guy in the back seat turns to look at me. Still not satisfied, I went in for the kill. As we pull up beside them (with our AC blasting) I roll down the window, look at the guys in the car and snarkily ask, red duct tape? We had a laugh at their expense and their only mechanism for defence was the shifty eye.

Seriously, if you're gonna make any attempt at being an A+ Certified Gino, you can't take your lessons on hue saturation from Red Green.

My mail server is so phat that I can "stream" mail through it.

Point your MX to me and I'll scan da shit for SPAM and Virus' then ship it right back to your wack ass Anti-SPAM / Anti-Virus'less mail server.

Alright, PEACE

what's up with that?

You know you're low on any kind of food to give to your dog when the only thing available is Chef Boyardee Spiderman Pasta. He does seem to enjoy it though.

Dr. Bashtard's prescription for your current situation is as follows:

Step 1: Remember who broke it off
It wasn't you, so you hurt more than she did

Step 2: Humor her
Let her think you are considering it, but don't let yourself consider it

Step 3: Get over the 'I don't want to hurt her' feelings
If you never get over that, you'll be stuck with this shit for life

Step 4: Tell her, "Sorry, but I don't want to be with you anymore"
You will feel like a million bucks being the one who was able to cut the strings.
It hurts to be the ditchedee, but empowering to be the ditcher.

Step 5: Ignore any further of her bullshit
She will get the hint eventually


We will settle the bill for my services over 'Drinks'. :)

what's up with that?

It took almost the entire summer, but my dog has finally started to shed his undercoat.

"Wow", you say!

Well it took an entire plastic bag, 300 or more times yelling at him to stop snaping at me, about 500 times for him to stop licking my toes and roughly 1000 times to get him to lay down.

For some reason he has to pet you back in return for services rendered. He's just friendly that way I guess, but it does make pampering him quite difficult.

Anyhoo.. for my efforts I have a good looking bastard and a mosquito bite on my scar from the knee surgery. The area where there is no direct feeling. Imagine trying to scratch an itch on skin that doesn't have feeling. You feel the itch below the surface, but not the scratch.

I'd take a page out of the Vince McMahon play book and tell everybody in my best impressional voice, "YOU'RE FIRED".

People complain about losing their jobs to techs in countries such as India.. but at this point in time and with this company, I say "keep on sending them".

The main issue:
People who live in North America think they deserve to work the job that they're in, simply because they live in 'the land of the free and the home of the brave'. Though if they were to analyze their actualy work ethic/productivity/cost effectiveness they would see that they are useless and don't deserve employment. Not showing up for work just because a schedule hasn't been posted is not a valid excuse... especially when you've work the same hours for 2 years straight.

Admittedly, I'm late on a regular basis, but I'm never so late that it matters, nor do I shaft people and force them to work 12 fucking hours because they're too much of an asshole to come to work.

Don't come crying Argentina to me when you lose your job based on your performance, or lack of one. Or maybe that's what you've been going for the whole time.

I'm doing it again.. and those of you who formerly worked with me will know what I mean. I'm doing that "Jcloth does everything for his work and gets absolutely nothing in return". Jcloth doesn't even get a "there there Bart, there there".

This time I went to LONDON!!! (Not England)

An install *which I don't do anymore* had gone sour so I had to do the 3 hour drive (took me 75 min) to London. On-site it took me 2 hours to fix the problems. The security system wouldn't engage, the DSL was making WAY too much noise over the line and the Fax/Payment machine wasn't working.

I got everything filtered and working... minus the phone jack for the Payment (FPOS) machine. But everything is working, even if there is some physical relocation going on right now.

This is the 2nd location for this company that I've gone to fix. Either my employer owes me, or these guys are gonna have to send me a bonus for all the crap I've done.

Anyhoo... Tonight is the night we A-Go-Go out for Spikey!!

Well... its not mine to keep, but man I love nerding it up with this laptop. Since I'm the sucker forced to do the on-site installations for work (FOR NOW), I decided to format the FPOS and install both Win2k and Red Hat 9. Never having used Red Hat 9 as a desktop application I immediately would have assumed, as I normally do regarding Linux GUIs, that it would be a shitty, not very user friendly environment. How wrong I was!!

I can't force myself to boot in Win2k anymore (on the laptop remember). Red Hat 9 is just too damn slick not to use. With Opera installed, its just kicking ass. Too bad though, I give it up in a week to the new guy who's gonna take over my job so I can go back to the mindless and unfulfilling life of a Supervisor. Someone who's skill sets are so untested its ridiculous.

On that note... I have talked to both my manager and the President about getting something more challenging because, much the reason I left for Auzzie land, I'm not being challenged anymore. No challenge makes jcloth go something something.