The caker pork chop and I went to our favourite watering hole, post work hour, and we see our favorite, undeterminable aged waitress. This was our second or third run in with this particular waitress. Personally I can't figure out how old she is, cuz she looks like someone who could be in their early 30's but she doesn't seem to have the lines and wrinkles typically found on someone in their early 30's. However you look at it, its obvious she wants to sleep with me.
...back to the story
This time I thought I'd try a different kind of flirting, more on the nerdy clever side. So when asked what I would like when I sat down, I asked for "a coke and your finest menu". She sat there for a second saying to herself, "finest menu?" then clued into the cheese of the comment and presented me with as she said, "my finest menu".
The caker pork chop and I did our usual, talk/bitch/complain about women and work all night, to which she mentioned that is the only topic we seem to talk about. Meaning.... she's paying attention and I/we have an audience!! She even took the time to throw an insult the way of the caker pork chop of his fetish for naked women in sandals (?? what a freak).
Then, whilst the caker pork chop is away she makes her move and takes the time out of her busy day to spend a good 5 minutes talking to me and asking the "what do you do" kinda questions. Obviously I'm working for the RCMP under cover and I make 80k/a. That and a volunteer fire fighter!! (ladies love that shit)
Anyhoo... much like my last interest, this one is also leaving the country for a year (first one is confirmed in Europe!) and going to teach english in S. Korea. Meaning... I have to make the moves ASAP!!!
So before we left, I asked of her upcoming work schedule and she said she may not be working on Tues of next week (only day the caker and I can go). I put my hand on her arm and politely asked her to go in even if she's not scheduled to work because we can "enjoy her last days together". Man, I'm smooth as silk!!
Basically, I'm trying to teach myself how to hit on a lady because I've been picked up every time and don't have the skillz required to sweep a lady off her feet. I can flirt like mad, but can't go in for the kill. Though, I can just feel the slimy confidence increasing and then one day... Chris will be upset with me because I'll actually get a woman's phone number.
...back to the story
This time I thought I'd try a different kind of flirting, more on the nerdy clever side. So when asked what I would like when I sat down, I asked for "a coke and your finest menu". She sat there for a second saying to herself, "finest menu?" then clued into the cheese of the comment and presented me with as she said, "my finest menu".
The caker pork chop and I did our usual, talk/bitch/complain about women and work all night, to which she mentioned that is the only topic we seem to talk about. Meaning.... she's paying attention and I/we have an audience!! She even took the time to throw an insult the way of the caker pork chop of his fetish for naked women in sandals (?? what a freak).
Then, whilst the caker pork chop is away she makes her move and takes the time out of her busy day to spend a good 5 minutes talking to me and asking the "what do you do" kinda questions. Obviously I'm working for the RCMP under cover and I make 80k/a. That and a volunteer fire fighter!! (ladies love that shit)
Anyhoo... much like my last interest, this one is also leaving the country for a year (first one is confirmed in Europe!) and going to teach english in S. Korea. Meaning... I have to make the moves ASAP!!!
So before we left, I asked of her upcoming work schedule and she said she may not be working on Tues of next week (only day the caker and I can go). I put my hand on her arm and politely asked her to go in even if she's not scheduled to work because we can "enjoy her last days together". Man, I'm smooth as silk!!
Basically, I'm trying to teach myself how to hit on a lady because I've been picked up every time and don't have the skillz required to sweep a lady off her feet. I can flirt like mad, but can't go in for the kill. Though, I can just feel the slimy confidence increasing and then one day... Chris will be upset with me because I'll actually get a woman's phone number.