Like sands through the hourglass, those are the days of my Saturn.
My Saturn, my plasic baby...
SHE WON'T PASS A DAMN EMISSIONS TEST
Here's a brief history of the ol' girl:
It's the very start of 2001 and my old hunk-o-shit Sunbird is on crutches. Time to put er down for the glue factory cuz this girl ain't gonna be running anymore. For a few weeks I'm without wheels, driving my mothers Mercury Mystique (of which I still love) and hearing about it every day since my mother apparently needs her car in the driveway for the sake of causing me a headache.
During this time I've looked at a few cars. One being a early model Prelude. Simion would have been bowing down to me in awe of my red beauty.... but I digress :)
So then one day I get home from my 4-12 glory Idirect shift and a black (actually navy blue, but it was night out) Saturn is sitting in my driveway. The first thing I did that night was pull the car in the car hole and replace that POS stock stereo with my fancy looking Sony deck.
Then take that sucker to work the next day, only to have it abused by co-workers such as Mycophile and his "hey, this thing won't dent" kicks to my passenger door.
More years pass and she still ain't died... and she has to pass a 2002 emissions test.
I drive er on in to Midas and drive er right out cuz my car passed.
My Saturn passed by so many points I considered it to be a pointless government requirement.
Now the 2003 emissions test rolls around....
A few weeks ago I take it to Midas, cuz again, "why are they wasting my time". This time the ol' girl fails. Fails not by a little, I mean she fails by THOUSANDS!!!
I'm like 'dude' and my car is like 'dude'
So instead I take the car to these ghetto italian boys on Rogers Rd.
She STILL fails... and these guys are known for making any car pass.
Now.... I'm PISSED OFF
So I take the bitch to the dealership and get raped for a Coolant Sensor and a bunch of other small fixes. The tune-up I do myself.
Now the ol' girl is running perfectly.
Never better actually. A pleasure to drive.
So I take the ol' girl to those same ghetto italian boys on Rogers Rd expecting them to be "wasting my time".
THE BITCH FAILS AGAIN and now I'm fucking pissed off.
How.....why?
Are the automobile gods telling me to get a new car?
There is the option, since I've already spent 300 bucks on parts and labour, I can get a pass if I spend 450 bucks, even if the car fails the test one more time.
Are these gods trying to force me to live at home for even longer, cuz I can't afford moving out AND a new car?
I'm gonna give er one more go at this thing, spend the extra 150 bucks and get my automatic pass. But come the sum sum summer time, this ol' girl is GONZO.
Nooo... not the muppet character, silly!!
My Saturn, my plasic baby...
SHE WON'T PASS A DAMN EMISSIONS TEST
Here's a brief history of the ol' girl:
It's the very start of 2001 and my old hunk-o-shit Sunbird is on crutches. Time to put er down for the glue factory cuz this girl ain't gonna be running anymore. For a few weeks I'm without wheels, driving my mothers Mercury Mystique (of which I still love) and hearing about it every day since my mother apparently needs her car in the driveway for the sake of causing me a headache.
During this time I've looked at a few cars. One being a early model Prelude. Simion would have been bowing down to me in awe of my red beauty.... but I digress :)
So then one day I get home from my 4-12 glory Idirect shift and a black (actually navy blue, but it was night out) Saturn is sitting in my driveway. The first thing I did that night was pull the car in the car hole and replace that POS stock stereo with my fancy looking Sony deck.
Then take that sucker to work the next day, only to have it abused by co-workers such as Mycophile and his "hey, this thing won't dent" kicks to my passenger door.
More years pass and she still ain't died... and she has to pass a 2002 emissions test.
I drive er on in to Midas and drive er right out cuz my car passed.
My Saturn passed by so many points I considered it to be a pointless government requirement.
Now the 2003 emissions test rolls around....
A few weeks ago I take it to Midas, cuz again, "why are they wasting my time". This time the ol' girl fails. Fails not by a little, I mean she fails by THOUSANDS!!!
I'm like 'dude' and my car is like 'dude'
So instead I take the car to these ghetto italian boys on Rogers Rd.
She STILL fails... and these guys are known for making any car pass.
Now.... I'm PISSED OFF
So I take the bitch to the dealership and get raped for a Coolant Sensor and a bunch of other small fixes. The tune-up I do myself.
Now the ol' girl is running perfectly.
Never better actually. A pleasure to drive.
So I take the ol' girl to those same ghetto italian boys on Rogers Rd expecting them to be "wasting my time".
THE BITCH FAILS AGAIN and now I'm fucking pissed off.
How.....why?
Are the automobile gods telling me to get a new car?
There is the option, since I've already spent 300 bucks on parts and labour, I can get a pass if I spend 450 bucks, even if the car fails the test one more time.
Are these gods trying to force me to live at home for even longer, cuz I can't afford moving out AND a new car?
I'm gonna give er one more go at this thing, spend the extra 150 bucks and get my automatic pass. But come the sum sum summer time, this ol' girl is GONZO.
Nooo... not the muppet character, silly!!